Golf Idiots and the Brotherhood

Filed in archive Golf Wanderings on January 22, 2007

Golf is a level playing field. It's probably the only sport on the planet where someone who's a billionaire and someone who's unemployed can compete on even terms, their professions and backgrounds instantly irrelevant.

And a genuine bonding can occur during a round.

I don't care if I play with billionaires or the unemployed.

If I go to a golf course as a single or with a friend or my wife, the only thing I hope for is that the stranger I'm playing with is friendly and respectful.

That doesn't always happen, though, does it?

Several years ago, my wife and I booked a late afternoon tee time at a very good local club near us. In the pro shop, we were told we would be paired up with a couple of members. Great, we said, someone who knows the course well.

We met the two members on the first tee. Now, let me take a line from a recent post by fellow blogger Matt Findley who writes Under My Helmet. Matt wrote a piece entitled How to Approach Bikers.

He said the best way to approach another biker is to be friendly and open and that's what you'll get in return. Common sense, really, and common courtesy, too. Also applies to golfers.

So I introduced myself and my wife and began to make friendly conversation. One fellow was willing to talk but his friend couldn't have cared less.

He insisted on talking in a loud voice about the latest film he was working on with a big Hollywood star. In fact, he was merely an assistant director. More a Gopher than anything else.

Since I'm involved in TV production, I thought we had some common ground and I asked a few interested questions.

He gave me perfunctory answers and continued to regale his friend with inside gossip and tales from the set, ignoring us.

Then he stepped up to the tee without a warm-up swing, flailed wildly at the ball, sent it into the nearby woods and yelled out the "F" word.

My wife and I looked at each other and I said, "Well, maybe the shoot was tough on him yesterday".

He played his next shot from the trees trying a shot Tiger Woods wouldn't attempt.
Clack, clack, off the trees. Again the "F" word, yelled at the top of his lungs.

This behavior went on for two more holes. He continued to yell and scream profanities and slam his clubs into the ground.

On the third green, we politely said we were probably slowing them down and they should play on by themselves.

For the rest of the round we could hear this animal cursing and yelling a couple of holes ahead of us.

In all the years I have played the game of golf, he was the first golfer I found intolerable.

That's a pretty decent track record and it's largely because golfers intuitively know we're all equals on the course.

Golf remains a brotherhood. Golfers respect each other the way motorcyclists wave at each other when they ride past.

There's a common bond and a shared experience that is enjoyed by golfers everywhere.

Most of them, anyway.

Have you had any similar "nightmare" rounds? We'd love to hear about them!!