Monty to Nick: Take That, You English K-niggett

Filed in archive Golf News on November 30, 2007

Monty in Full Stride

There's a clever line in Kenny Rogers' old hit, The Gambler, which goes something like this: "...know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em".

Someone should send a copy of the song to Colin Montgomerie. Monty is one of those people who has to have the last word and just doesn't know when to shut up.

He penned a column in the British broadsheet, The daily telegraph, about, well, about himself. It's called "I am a Team Player".

Ostensibly he was writing to crow a little after he and Marc Warren won the World Cup in China for Scotland in an exciting playoff with Boo Weekley and Heath Slocum from the U.S.

But in his opening line, he couldn't help taking a dig at Nick Faldo with whom he's had a running verbal battle over the Ryder Cup next year.

"...I've had one or two people ask whether Nick Faldo would have been taking note about what happened in China...I know that if I was captain I would have been riveted by events at Mission Hills".

Certainly, Faldo was watching. And probably grimacing at the same time. As Monty pointedly makes clear in his "Let's talk about me" piece for the Telegraph, "We have known each other for years and have a lot of shared history..."

That does NOT translate as, "we have known each other for years and are good friends".

He then makes reference to their differences at the Seve Cup in the late summer when Faldo accused Monty of not coming to team meetings and pouting over pairings, and concluded by saying, "I hope to play my way into the [Ryder Cup] team and if I don't it will be up to Nick whether he wants to give me one of his wild cards".

Rest assured, there's nothing Monty would want more than to play his way onto the squad so that Faldo had no choice but to use him.

It's an odd column entirely, filled with strange observations including his reference to his fiancée, Gaynor, expecting a victory party after the win in China.

"But, as everyone who's been around the game for a bit longer than she has knows only too well, that's not what happens in golf". Good God, man, wait until she's your wife before you start criticizing her!

Monty's in a class by himself, there's no doubt. He has fired more caddies than I've lost golf balls (okay, a bit of an exaggeration), made himself hugely unpopular with fans and the golf media and come to be known as the Grumpy Old Man of Golf.

But you have to love his line about his relationship with Faldo after the above-mentioned jabs. "...I am confident both of us can move on from here without anything being said".

Let's translate that one, too: "I am confident both of us can move on from here so long as I have the last word and Faldo keeps his trap shut".

Time to fold 'em, Monty, before one of the other card sharks pulls a gun and starts a-shootin'.