Not Quite Magnolia Lane

Filed in archive Golf Humor on November 5, 2007

Courtesy: Edward Keating/golf.com

Mini-putt tournaments are to golf tournaments what model railways are to the full-sized steel tracks and diesel locomotives. They are tiny Mini-Me versions of the real things.

And their participants take them as seriously as any PGA Tour pro or Amtrak engineer.

Now I happen to think that model railroads are, well, just plain neat (but I was a slot-racing nut when I was a kid). I love the tiny scale and tremendous detail. There's something about a model railroad layout that is simply amazing to me.

But mini-putt tournaments? Sorry, I can't get excited. So when I read over at golf.com about the Masters of mini-putt tournaments in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, I was amused.

I mean, the world is full of crazies. It doesn't surprise me that some of them have putters in their hands.

However, the more I read, the more I realized how mini-putters are as serious as model railroaders. It would not be a good idea to call out a mini-putter when he's clutching a Ping Pal.

The Masters National Pro Mini-Golf Championship is held every October in Myrtle Beach at one of those enormous and gaudy mini-putt emporiums the size of a city block.

Yes, the competitors are professional mini-putters. No, they don't make a lot of money (Thank God. That means there's more for professional lawn tractor racers...).

But they come from all over, including Europe, to compete in this thing. Michael Walker's article is filled with characters - how else could you describe a "professional mini-putter" - and humor.

This year's winner successfully defended his title. He hails from Sweden and proudly slipped on what Walker refers to as the Green Windbreaker.

I can see it now: a Ryder Cup of Mini-Putt every two years. Europe's best taking on America's finest flat stick specialists over a course that's, oh, 650 yards long and boasting 4 windmills, 3 waterfalls and a haunted house.